Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The nerves...the nerves....OH the nerves!

It's less than a month before the half marathon. I have been running and doing my thing for months now, not necessarily following any program or anything, but rather increasing my distance to one long run a week. My running partner has been a huge support to me and honestly, without her, I don't think I would have even considered the half marathon. Until training with her, I was only running three miles. I had such a hard time going beyond that distance. It was all mental and well.....leave me alone with my thoughts and my thoughts will win! (and they did). At the three mile mark I just could not move any further.

Then, after running with Kristina a few times, I realized that running can be a social event. I am social afterall so it helped to have someone to talk to, whine to, moan to, vent to, and better yet, celebrate with. The three mile runs soon became a four milers and then five milers. In fact, I was beginning to see that the further I went, the more loose I was and more comfortable I was running longer distances....WHO KNEW? I mean, I had heard others say "once you get over that hump, you will find a running groove and you will just get into it". My problem was, I could never find that groove. Why? Because for me it happens JUST AFTER three miles....and well for MONTHS I could not get beyond that by myself.

Nowadays my average runs are 5-6 miles. I can run those comfortably and actually push myself to go further, but my partner is quick to remind me to not overdo it. It's just so hard to not want to go further and get excited about those new distances, you know? Anything further than three miles is a milestone moment for me. That was until I realized her warnings had consequences. In my excitement to achieve longer distance, my knee quickly reminded me why it's important to also REST. So I sidelined myself for a week. Thankfully that was all it took....

Upon running again, I achieved the ultimate milestone moment. TEN MILES! I ran TEN F-R-E-A-K-I-N-G miles!!!!!! We were shooting to finish 8 1/2 that day but I pushed us to go a little bit further just to see what it felt like....and let me just say: IT WAS GREAT! Now granted, I definitely felt its effects the following day, but for me it was a day long reminder of the awesomeness of a great run!!!!

However,

I am still freaking out about this half marathon thing. Yes it's only 3 more miles, but man....that's a long distance to run. What in the world am I thinking? I wake up and think: "girl you did ten, you can definitely do three more" but then my mental side says "are you kidding me? three MORE miles?" I wish I was more like Scott. He can wake up on any given morning, set his mind to do something and then just do it. I would even go as far as to say if there was an opportunity for him to run the marathon with me, he would and he hasn't even trained for it. What's worse? He would probably rock it too. (grrrrr) I wish I could do that. Just say "I'm going to do it" and do it well.

My nerves are starting to kick in. That is for sure. I see my ticker at the top of the blog and think: omg, omg, omg, omg....it's actually going to happen.

Then of course I get thinking: what if it's windy like today and we're running against 40 mile/hr winds. What if we're on tornado watch/warning (again, quite possible living here). What if it's raining? What if I am sick the day before? What if I injure myself in the race ~ do I just drop out of crawl across the line?

I hate my mental state.....hate it. Someone loan me their self confidence please?

6 comments:

Clay Laura CJ and Preston said...

You're doing it....you go girl!!! After we last talked on the phone, you inspired me to step it up a bit with running...and guess what - I am happy to announce that I did 5 miles!!! Yipee...can you believe it? I hardly can! I can't believe you did 10 miles...that is crazy!! You inspire me Christy! Yipee. Keep going to the 13!

Christy said...

YAY Laura! That's awesome! Are you training for any road races right now?

MariMargene said...

Just try to use that power (of rationalization) for good! Slow and steady wins the race, so just add that last 3, slow and steady, and rock it out! You're not a boy, you won't do it like Scott does, but you are a WOMAN and you will do it like a WOMAN does. :)

Denise said...

You are amazing and you will be amazing on race day!

Chi-townRawlins said...

Christy! You're going to kill that sucker! No worries!!!

Alyssa said...

I am pretty self confident. I am just pretty awesome all around and can do just about everything better than anybody else in the world. So...you can have my self confidence! Feeling up for those extra three miles???

*Please note that I'm not really THAT cocky...I was just trying to imbibe you with some confidence!