Sunday, February 21, 2010

Winter blahs....and other C-R-AP!!!!!!!!!!!!! (vent ~ look out)

I swear this winter is going on for-ev-er! Yes I'm still Canadian (for a few more weeks!!) but that doesn't mean I like winter. I've been living outside of Canada for 12 years now and it's been nice adjusting to milder winters. I have easily adapted to it. However, this year it has been horrendous. Quite honestly it's REALLY affected my mood and my motivation to do anything. Which I can't afford to be doing right now, considering I'm smack dab in the middle of planning my first 5K (which is in 5 weeks from today) and because I'm getting big....AGAIN! I can see the bulges creeping back. This endless quest to just look and feel better is so damn hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All THESE DAMN SNOW DAYS. It's been awful. It's crazy what a little snow can do to this city. I mean seriously! It SHUTS DOWN. It has forced me to stay indoors. I'm not an indoors girl. Running on the treadmill and cross training on machines I hate, while fighting lines of people also wanting to do the same is beyond frustrating. Then tack onto that the stomach bug, deployments, meetings, PTA and other CRAP! I could just scream ~ in fact I have.... a few times

Oh and did I mention my grandmother has been in and out of the hospital for the past month?It's been touch and go for some time and no one really seems to have any answers. All I know is that she has blood clots in her lungs and even with blood thinners they are not dissolving.

It's hard for me to hear these updates because in my mind my grandmother is frozen in time and is a healthy 60 year old, just the way I remember her as a child. But the reality is, she's nearing 90 and has lived a very full life. This could just be another chapter in her book of life, but it's certainly not one I like hearing about. She's been a healthy woman for the majority of her life and has been living independently up until this point. This very well may take her out and selfishly I'm just not ready for that. It weighs so heavily on my heart to go home and be with her before I am forced to go home to attend a funeral. I want more time with her. Time with her that she and I will both remember.

I have to come to terms with her reality but it's hard. Please keep her in your prayers.

Is it Wednesday yet? Scott, please come home!


Lisa said...

I'm giving you a big ((HUG!)). I thought it was just me ready to blow a gasket after this winter . . . I'm so DONE. Sure love you, hope Scott can be home SOON!

Jen said...

I'll be praying, Christy. I know what you mean about having them frozen in time in your mind!

Denise said...

She will be in my prayers.

Alyssa said...

I totally hear ya on the SUCKTASTIC winter we're having. It just takes it outta ya! Hope you can get up there to see your grandma, she'll be in our thoughts and prayers.

Shell said...

((((HUGS)))) and lots of good thoughts for Grandma. I feel ya on the weather thing- we moved from Jersy to NC to escape the awful winters (among the other things we were escaping ;) ) and hello, what the heck do we get? The longest dreariest winter EVER. Well, maybe not ever, but whatever. I'm ready for Spring!

Christy said...

Thank you.

Deb @ Confessions of an Ugly Mom said...

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. Its hard to face that reality. I am right with you ... in my mind, my grandparents are the same 60-somethings that used to take me Black Friday Shopping every year. But when I pick them up, I am reminded they are the nearly 90-somethings who couldn't remember I was coming. Hugs to you! And prayers.

Chi-townRawlins said...

Sorry I'm just seeing this. This winter has made me more self-involved than usual:(
I'm so sad to hear about Grandma! I hope you're able to make it back north to see her!
And here's to more sunny skies and happy hearts. This winter is dragging me to HELL so far. I need a break from it, too!
Feel better soon! Kitchen cabinets should help with that:)