We tell ourselves not to compare our kids to their peers or their siblings but I know we're all guilty of not doing that. Or maybe I should speak for myself and say "I don't do that". When I only have two kids, and they are both boys, it's hard for me to determine what is normal age appropriate behavior and what is not. Especially when I know all kids have their own personalities and their own learning curves...so then why shouldn't I compare what my kid is doing to his peers? Once again: because every child is different
I get that. Really I do.
However, my boys are so polar opposite that I am starting to lose my mind trying to get a grasp on what they should and should not be doing and what is "normal" and what is not!
Take my first born for example. He just turned 7. From an early age he could speak, walk, jump, throw a frisbee, communicate, follow rules, understand cause and effect, is very regimented, etc. He was a very serious baby too. Rarely giggled or smiled, but when he did he was genuinely happy. As he grew older, I noticed that he was a very "structured" baby; much like me. I always like to know where I'm going; for how long; and when I will be back. He always asks what's next: even if we are engaging in something active. He's just always thinking ahead.
Then there's my youngest son. He just turned 5. He's a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-laid-way-back dude. He doesn't understand consequences and has absolutely no care in the world. Unlike his oldest brother he just doesn't get into the daily routine (at all); is always the last to do E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G and has no competitive spirit. But on the flip side he's very sweet, bubbly, funny, imaginative and has the BEST belly laugh. It's contagious really. I hear him laugh and I can't help but chuckle myself. But because he's not "on task" 99.99% of the time, he's wearing my patience thin.
I swore I would not be a yeller. I don't respond to it, nor should I expect my kids to. But let me tell you...when I use the "please" and soft tone nurturing voice 3 times or more and don't get a response, I can't help but find myself YELLING just to startle him...even a little bit! It's like "HELLLLOOOO McFLLYYYYYYY". Ugh!
I know my boys are happy little spirits. I see what they draw in the driveways with their chalk, or with their markers on paper, or when we do "make up story time". I know from that they are happy and not quite emotionally messed up from my parenting (that will be in a few years I'm sure) but man.....I'm telling you......I'm about ready to explode! I just want them to both be on the same page...or at least tell me why one is and the other isn't....and how we can meet in the middle......and is my oldest not normal for being what I think is normal (and instead is "ahead of the curve) and my youngest is the normal one afterall? LOL!!!!!!!!
There are days I just give in....and just accept the fact they are on different levels.....and try to accommodate both with different approaches in the ways I communicate with them.....but it's....so....time...consuming......Is that selfish of me to say it like that???
So, tell me, what is normal?