Monday, March 05, 2012

Blog Challenge: Day 19

Today's challenge is to write about how I feel about disrespecting your parents.

When I was growing up, my parents did NOT know everything. They would push things on me, they were play favorites, they would accuse me of things I did not do, accuse me of things I did not say, and often times assume the worst of me. It was a battle for me, growing up, trying to prove I was not any of those things. There was yelling, there were mean things said, and it did affect my relationships with them. Some might think I was being disrespectful but to me at the time, that I did not appreciate anything my parents did for me. That because I was yelling at my mom, I was just being a typical teenager. When all I was doing was fighting to be heard and to be respectED.  It was rare to hear a compliment from them. I honestly think that because of that of that I have a hard time identifying with myself even as an adult.

But that was then. I've learned things over time as to why people do and say the things they do. I've learned that people do what they know and what they've learned. My parents' parents played favorites;  accused  the kids of multiple wrong doings; could not squeeze a compliment out of them or being acknowledged for work well done. I get it.

I am not meaning to bash my parents. They are awesome people. Well respected in the community and by us. Hard workers. Volunteers. They taught us great life lessons too. For one, I had a true sense of respecting my elders. That was definitely ingrained in us as kids growing up. We called everyone Mr or Mrs something. Even if they were our neighbors. We did not speak unless spoken to. You always used your "pleases" and "thank yous". We were to conduct ourselves orderly in public because "you are representing your family". I think those kinds of manners and courtesies have all been forgotten it seems.

Like I said earlier, we all learn something from our parents. Some good and some bad. But even the bad can be changed into something good. As a parent to two boys, well removed from where I grew up, I have decided that it's time to change the cycle. I don't want my kids to grow up with insecurities. I want them to be strong in character and proud of their accomplishments; big or small. I will not yell at them just to be heard because I know what it is like to live in a house of yellers. I will demand their respect and show my soft and loving side more times than my yelling side. They will respect their elders like I did growing up. Always addressing them as Mr or Mrs and never talking back to them. There will be consequences if they do. I think people look at how you treat your parents as a character  gauge. If you disrespect them, you will hold no other adult in high regard; and that will NOT happen in my household. I've learned well from my parents!!

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